You Just Got Engaged…Now What?
Did you just get engaged?!
Congratulations!!!
I’m so excited for you.
You are probably here because you’re wondering… “Okay, now what? What’s the first step?” I’m happy to provide an answer for you right here.
As a CA wedding photographer serving clients throughout the Napa Valley, Sonoma County, and San Francisco Bay Area, I have some THOUGHTS about what I think you should do first. I decided to sit down and write it all out as if I were talking to a friend (we can be friends now, right?)
Without further ado, here’s my unofficial/official guide on what to do after you get engaged.
What to Do After You Get Engaged
1. CELEBRATE!!
First things first, pop that bubbly and celebrate! This is a big deal and time to celebrate! You can have an engagement party or just celebrate with the two of you. Here’s something else sweet to enjoy: You are only a fiance for a short time, so really enjoy having a fiance!
2. Wedding Planner
If you’re thinking about hiring a wedding planner, NOW is actually the time to book. Yep, even before you look at venues and book the date. Why? Well, the AMAZINGly talented wedding planner Kellyne Mendoza of Hand&Heart Events shared this tip in our blog post featuring Ru’s Farm: It’s important to hire your wedding planner before doing anything else because they will guide you through the entire planning process. You only plan one wedding in your life. Meanwhile, your wedding planner plans them every day. They will be your greatest asset throughout this experience. You will not regret hiring one!
(But also don’t stress. If you end up realizing you want a wedding planner down the road, it’s all good!)
3. Decide the Vibe
This can occur with your celebration or during a different time, but make sure to take some time to sit down and talk about your wedding. What are both your dreams and visions for the big day? Maybe you’ve talked about this before, or maybe you haven’t. Either way, this is a great opportunity to get on the same page before you book a single thing. What is the vibe? What is important to each of you? Maybe it’s having a big wild party or a quieter affair. There’s nothing wrong with ANYTHING; this is just about chatting through allllll these things.
4. Get Organized
Okay, now we’re kinda getting into the nitty gritty. The next step that I highly recommend you do is to get organized! You’re thinking, huh??? Hear me out. During your wedding planning process, you will have contracts, documents, notes, emails, invoices, and lists (and lists and lists). Now is the time to get organized for all this stuff. You can buy a fancy pants wedding planner binder or a plain one from Target. It doesn’t matter! Heck, maybe it’s a digital folder. Just decide where all this stuff is going and who will need access to it. And just to reiterate, my best advice to get organized is to hire a wedding planner (see tip #2).
5. Guest List
Make your guest list. Yep, you’re doing this now before anything else. Each of you makes a list of all the family and friends and brings those lists together. Are you allowing plus ones? Are you inviting kids?
Are your parents able to add guests? Is that ok with you? If it’s not okay with you, that’s OK. It’s your day, so you do you. Decide that together before it even comes up!
Having your guest list ready will help you with the next steps.
6. Budget
Now is the time to figure out your wedding budget. Are you paying for it yourselves? Are parents or grandparents helping? If you don’t know this information, it’s time to bring it up. My tip? You can say something like, “Hey! We’re working on our guest list and starting to look at wedding venues soon. We’re looking to get an idea of our budget. Do you want to be part of the conversation?” Again, SOMETHING like that. You’re inviting them into the convo, not demanding how much money they’ll fork over. You know your family best and will know what to say.
If you’re paying for your wedding, it’s time to look at your savings and finances and really think about what’s realistic. I would also plan on at least a 10% buffer to your overall wedding budget. Sorry, it just happens! Little things will come up, so it’s good to be prepared.
7. Venue / Date
It’s time to make a list of venues and start booking tours! Do you have any venues in mind? I highly recommend checking out at least 3-5 to ensure it has everything you want. If you have a wedding planner, they’ll come with you or offer insight into each one.
ALSO, see number 8 below….. As a wedding photographer, I’m happy to offer any insight into the perfect wedding venue for you.
8. Book Your Wedding Photographer
Oh, hi, is it my turn? Now it’s time to book your wedding photographer! You’ve got the date, venue, and your budget. I have a whole guide on what to ask your wedding photographer here for you to read.
Here’s a snippet for you.
Knowing what to ask your potential wedding photographer is crucial, and here are a few additional questions to consider:
How do you handle unexpected changes on the wedding day?
Can you help us with our timeline to make sure we have time for all the photos we want?
What’s your approach to capturing candid versus posed shots?
Oh, and make sure to look at their portfolio. You want to LOVE their work. LOVE. Reach out to a few and schedule a phone call or Zoom to feel out the vibe. You work closely with your wedding photographer, so you want to make sure you feel comfortable with them.
9. Engagement Session
Now, we get to plan your engagement photos. We can take them as soon as you’re ready, but here’s my best tip. Think about what season you want to show up as the backdrop for your photos. Spring? Summer? Fall? Let’s plan your engagement session for those months.
I sure hope not, but if you’re thinking of skipping this, I urge you not to. Here are a few quick reasons.
1) When was the last time you had professional photos taken? Your senior year of high school? Never? This will give you “practice” with it before your big day.
2) You get to build the relationship with your wedding photographer and experience working with them before the big day. Plus, you can be extra sure you love your photographer and love the work.
3) As a married mom… trust me. You will treasure these photos. You’ll back on them with a smile and remember this sweet season in your relationship.
10. Food/Dress/Flowers/Dessert
Okay, wow, I’m just lumping these in together. Your food, dress, flowers, dessert, etc. can really go in any order once you book the big vendors. My only tip here is to book as soon as you can. I don’t want to rush or stress you out, but don’t leave these until the last few months. You’ll want to know you’re booked, made deposits, and know you get to work with the vendors that you want.
And as your wedding photographer, I’m happy to make any recommendations or offer suggestions on any of these. My goal is to not only be your wedding photographer but be your wedding friend. You deserve a peaceful, smooth wedding experience, and I can help you with that! Let me know your local wedding guide.
Bay Area Wedding Photographer
Oh, Honestly Photographer is a CA wedding photographer serving clients throughout the Napa Valley, Sonoma County, and San Francisco Bay Area. If you’re interested in chatting with me, Lia, all you have to do is contact me here! I can’t wait to chat!